Religion is the opiate of the masses.

born with nothing die with everything.

2005-11-25T07:19:43Z

When (if) I grow up, I wanna be fuckin rich. That seems immature, but it's not. Or maybe it is, but I just don't give a shit. See the thing is, I think that it makes perfect sense to want to have money. I mean, sure it's possible to be happy without it, but why bother? I mean, if you have money, that's one less thing you have to worry about. If you don't have to worry about making ends meet, then that's one less thing to waste your time on. It's not materialistic, it's logical. People that purposely live poorly, unless it's a side product of something else (eg a belief in socialism, a desire to do something artisty that just doesn't pay well).

Also, I don't understand the concept of selling out. I can understand it if you mean doing something unethical, but if you're a musician and you change your music in order to appeal to a greater number of people, I don't see why that's wrong. Not only are you making more people happy, you're also getting money for yourself. Most people see this latter as the problem, but I don't. I figure, if nobody rails at the Rolling Stones for "selling out", nobody should be angry at U2. By the way, Seether used to be Sarin Gas when they were in Africa. They changed their name in order to get signed. Is that wrong? Lamb of God used to be called Burn the Priest (which is fucking awesome by the way).

QED.

oh god perfect lyrics

2005-10-31T20:55:23Z

"Dance, Dance"

She says she's no good with words but I'm worse
Barely stuttered out
"A joke of a romantic" or stuck to my tongue
Weighed down with words too over-dramatic
Tonight it's "it can't get much worse"
Vs. "no one should ever feel like.."

I'm two quarters and a heart down
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds
These words are all I have so I'll write them
So you need them just to get by

Dance, Dance
We're falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you'd love to lead
Dance, this is the way they'd love
If they knew how misery loved me

You always fold just before you're found out
Drink up its last call
Last resort
But only the first mistake and I...

I'm two quarters and a heart down
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds
These words are all I have so I'll write them
So you need them just to get by

Why don't you show me the little bit of spine
You've been saving for his mattress, love

Dance, Dance
We're falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you'd love to lead
Dance, this is the way they'd love
If they knew how misery loved me

Why don't you show me the little bit of spine
You've been saving for his mattress (mattress, mattress)
I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me

Dance, Dance
We're falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you'd love to lead

Dance this is the way they'd love (way they'd love)
Dance this is the way they'd love (way they'd love)
Dance this is the way they'd love
If they knew how misery loved me

Dance, Dance
Dance, Dance
Dance, Dance
Dance, Dance

andsoifall13 @ 2005-10-31T15:47:00

2005-10-31T20:51:31Z

Fuck it's happening again.

I got some motivation today. The proverbial fire under the ass. It's only in terms of academia though. I'm just gonna leave the rest to sit there. Until it comes to a head I guess. Mmmm sounds like high school. Good times. Not really. High school sucked.

I've got headaches and bad luck that they couldn't touch oh no. Turn up the lights and turn off the shyness.

Again

2005-10-29T04:33:21Z

As always, there is a girl. And as always, it's fucking horrible considering the circumstances. It's interesting how I always like the extroverted girls. That is, considering I'm a introverted, rejection-fearing little bitch. I wonder if extroverted girls like introverts. I think so, but only for a few days. Whatever.

andsoifall13 @ 2005-10-10T13:59:00

2005-10-10T18:05:03Z

I was right, it is fucking awesome. Seriously college is so sweet. Except for the fact that disease spreads like it's the fucking 16th century. I have a cold, just like everybody on my hall has had in the past two weeks. Very sad.

My dad had bypass surgery. He's ok. He's already home from the hospital. He's out of commission for more than a month though. No working at all. That must suck some ass. Then again, that's my whole summer. Every summer.

Alright, well I'll update this every once in a while. I guess. K bye.

College is soon

2005-08-15T04:42:29Z

I'm going to college in like 12 days. I'm moving in early actually, on the 27th. It's gonna be so fucking awesome. I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it. Wow I don't even remember the last time I updated this fucking thing.

andsoifall13 @ 2005-03-31T18:44:00

2005-03-31T23:45:57Z

yeah for the desktop thing on that last entry, i had no idea what the fuck the question was, and since i copied it out of someone else's lj, i forgot about it and accidentally left it. oops

I can't believe I'm doing this

2005-03-31T23:40:33Z

FIRSTS

first job: volunteered at the free library
First school: preschool somewhere in the northeast
First funeral: not yet
First pet: stan the teddy bear
First piercing/tattoo: nope
First credit card: visa
First kiss: rachel
First one that mattered: rachel
First love: hmmm, interesting...jean, maybe
First enemy: ben deadwyler
First big trip: russia to america i guess
First concert: some russian folk singers
First musician you remember hearing in your house: the beatles

LASTS
Last car ride: to school yesterday
Last kiss: like five months ago

Last library book checked out: shadow of the hegemon
Last beverage drank: diet pepsi
Last food consumed: hot fudge sundae
Last phone call: grandfather
Last time brushed teeth: this morning
Last CD played: atticus...dragging the lake 1
Last person talked to: rachel
Last soda drank: diet pepsi, an hour ago
Last ice cream eaten: hot fudge sundae, a couple of hours ago
Last time scolded: last night probably
Last jewlery worn: watch, before it broke about three weeks ago

Full name: michael guber

Astrological sign: sagittarius
Pets: none

PRESENT AND PAST
First thing you thought of when you woke up this morning: i got to pee
What were you like as a child: stupid
What did you want to be when you grew up: fireman!
What do you want to be now: businessman
How many cars have you had: none
How many boy/girl friends have you had: uh, one
How many people have you kissed: 2
How family oriented are you: on a scale of 1-10, like 7
Last thing you thought about before going to sleep last night: probably lisa

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU?
Saw a movie: in its entirety? dead poets society, last friday
Told someone you loved him or her: um, lindsay like a week ago
Hugged: wow i wish i remembered
Were sick: a month ago
Smiled: today, watching "fences"
Bought something: um, does a soda count? two hours ago i guess
Danced: never! fake danced in order to make fun of jkwok, today
Had a nightmare: like two months ago
Did something illegal: i jaywalked today
Cried: like three months ago

DO YOU/HAVE YOU:
Been in love: not sure...maybe
Drank: yes
Smoked: no
Kissed the same sex: no
Play an instrument: no
Believe there is life on other planets: yeah, but not the kind that matters
Read the newspaper: once in a while
Have any gay or lesbian or bi friends: yeah
Believe in miracles: no
Believe in astrology: fuck no
Collect anything: nope
Have a best friend or best friends: had
Wish on stars: nope
Like your handwriting: nope, it looks like shit
Have any bad habits: stupidity...
Been toilet papering: no
Been to a foreign country: canada, was born in russia
Been in a car accident: yeah, my mom can't drive for shit
Something that I'm deathly afraid of: torture, rejection i guess
Do you believe in love: yeah
Do you believe in love at first sight: nope
Do you believe in forgiveness: sometimes
What are some of your favorite pig out foods: soda, cookies, ice cream, chinese
What's something you wish you could understand better: girls, what i want, uh...politics (i'm such a loser)

FIRSTS
First best friend: anton
First car: not yet, but i'm hoping for a beige '95 nissan altima
First date: maybe the last dance at cty with rachel
First break-up: rachel, i guess
First screen name: firemonkey132000
First self purchased album: limp bizkit *hides in shame*
What is in your cd player: atticus...dragging the lake 1
What color socks are you wearing: white
What Color of underwear are you wearing: teal, i think, checkered
What's under your bed?: a piece of floor that has not been vacuumed for a while
What time did you wake up today: 700
FUTURE
Where do you want to go: out of phucking philly
What is your career going to be: business
Where are you going to live: new york city, boston, or san francisco
How many kids do you want: two, i think
What kind of car(s): bmw

CURRENT
Current mood: blah
Current music: alkaline trio
Current taste: diet pepsi
Current hair: headbanging hair!
Current clothes: khaki pants, gray long-sleeve shirt w/ lion on it
Current annoyance(s): english journals
Current longing: lisa, college, queens of the stone age cd
Current desktop: josh, tony, dana, benzo, ben and pat downtown
Current hate: school, senior project
Sometimes I feel: just going to sleep
In the morning I: loathe to go to school
If I could be doing anything right now I would:
Money is: usually a good thing
One thing I wish I had is: more friends in philly
One thing I have that I wish I didn't is: a reputation
All I need is: love
If I had one wish it would be: girlfriend
If an angel flew into my window at night I would: say "fuck off you don't exist"
If a demon crashed into my window I would: point and laugh
If I could see one person right now it would be: rachel or lindsay or sumana
One thing I want but I don't really need is: my chemical romance cd
Something I need but I don't really want is: to do my homework
I live for: jesus...don't worry i was just kidding, love probably

Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
- a car
– love
– more friends
– less fatness

Name Four Scents You Love:
- nabisco plant
– rachel
– rain
– no idea what else

Name Four People You Know Best:
- adam
– lindsay
– rachel
– sumana

Name Four Things You'd Never Wear:
- pink
– fubu
– dallas cowboys gear
- ny giants gear

Name Four Things You Are Thinking About:
- girls
– homework
– music
– college decisions

Name Four Things You Did Today:
- watched "fences" (an august wilson play, for the uncultured)
– ate at flamers
– signed "shadow of the hegemon" out of the free library
– took the el

Name Four Things You Bought Recently:
- soda
– cd player
– cds
– cookies

Name Four People You Would Like To Spend More Time With:
- friends
– clergy, to make fun of them
– cty people
– the voices

Name Four Bands/Groups/Singers Most People Don't Know You Like:
- maroon 5 (shut up, they're good)
- coldplay
- the killers
- queen

Name Four Places You Want To Visit Before You Die (Be fairly specific):
- france (i'll need to spray antiseptic left and right, those dirty frenchies)
– cancun
– amsterdam!!!
– st. petersburg, russia (no i don't want to get shot, but it's where i was born)

"Fences" was great, but it made me feel depressed.

hiya

2005-03-04T04:31:32Z

Your name alone strikes fear into others; but maybe, just maybe, there's a little vulnerability and weakness beneath that stoic, fierce exterior of yours.

Take the What Pulp Fiction Character Are You? quiz.

What biotch?!

Too tired to sleep.

2005-03-01T05:38:59Z

I'm probably not going to go to bed until two in the morning. The reason? I wish I fucking knew. I think it has something to do with being afraid to waste my time, a piece of the small, precious slice of time that every human being is dealt. Or maybe it's cuz I'm obsessing over a girl. She looked at me! Does she know I like her? Does she like me? I'm too tired to scream.

And now for something completely different. It is snowing. And like six inches have already accumulated. Considering the fact that I do not believe that the city of Philadelphia actually owns snowplows, much less uses them, I'm hoping there will be a snow day tomorrow. That would be so hot. But then again Paul Vallas (that's the CEO of Philadelphia schools [yes, CEO, tells you a lot about Philly doesn't it?]) is a sheepfucker. And by that, I mean, if he's enough of an asshole to fuck sheep, he's enough of an asshole to make us all go to school. Real men stick to "fucking cows" <====quoted from Beloved, quite possibly the worst book ever written.

fuck you paresse.

2005-02-22T05:30:11Z

I feel like shit. La dee da dee da. Updated. Happy Jenn?

This is so late.

2004-12-19T05:48:25Z

I got into Wharton! Wharton School of Business, University of Pennsylvania, biotch! This was like a week ago. And I got into University of Chicago. Saying no to them is gonna suck, it's such a cool school. Anyway, on to scholarships.

"You're the poster boy, their selling point, the focus of their new campaign."

smashed into pieces

2004-11-14T04:52:29Z

yay no one reads this. i could yell out:

DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER!!!!!
DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER!!!!!
DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER!!!!!

and no one would care. maybe that's cuz i have no friends. anymore at least. i think... i think i might've fucked it up. oh well. but cheer up! only seven more months of school left. that's even shorter than most celebrity marriages....i hope.

anyway i have my interview with the guy from penn tomorrow. i had emailed him and he never answered me, so i gave him a call yesterday and left a message on his machine. he called me back and i was getting off the bus. and guess what? i couldn't hear a fucking word of what he was saying. and then he was like, is this a bad time? and i was like yes, i'm going home on the bus. and then i got off the bus. and it was quiet. yay. 4 pm tomorrow. oh shit i hope he meant 4 pm. that would suck if i had to get up at 4 am.

you know what else? he told me to bring something that i cannot describe in words. i'm gonna bring "early days: the best of led zeppelin volume one." oh yeah baby! black dog, rock and roll, the battle of evermore, immigrant song, communication breakdown, dazed and confused, and of course STAIRWAY!!! woo. damn that's gonna be sexy. and the dude who's interviewing me graduated from penn in 2003. so he may know zeppelin and be cool like that! that would be so hot. anyway good luck to my sorry ass.

"i think that i'm starting to scare myself"
-"drug like" action action

Am I taking the throne for the crown?

2004-10-30T20:52:24Z

In a car outside, we stalk the idle kind.
If you're leaving, just let me know.
Tobacco and peppermint, dusting for fingerprints.
A film in her eyes from the glow.

Some rules are made with all intentions to break
And she defends it with a warped rationale.
And I've seen what happens to the wicked and proud
When they decide to try to take on the throne for the crown.

And we learn as we age.
We've learned nothing and my body still aches.
And you take cause they give.
Though I love you and my body it leaks like a sieve.

When it got old outside, smoke beneath the playground lights.
If you're coming home, just let me know.
Sucking on your breath mint, dissected and stuck with pins.
A film in her eyes from the glow.

Concrete and water, she's looking for her daughter
At midnight in torrential downpour.
And everything I said about how messed your head is,
Was cut up and left in bits and pieces on the cutting room floor.

And we learn as we age.
We've learned nothing and my body still aches.
And you take cause they give.
Though I love you and my body it leaks like a sieve.

And we learn as we age.
We've learned nothing and my body still aches.
And you take cause they give.
Though I love you and my body it leaks like a sieve.

Take the picture from the wall when you think that nothing matters.
Take the picture from the plane and it's a long ways to the floor.
Cut your finger on the edge cause it's sharper than they told you.
Take a leap from out the window cause it's way too far to go through the door.

And we learn as we age.
We've learned nothing and my body still aches.
And you take cause they give.
Though I love you and my body it leaks like a sieve.

holy shit

2004-09-18T23:22:06Z

holy shit this is an amazing cd. that is, brand new's latest cd "deja entendu" is an amazing cd. and the name is great too. how much greater can you get.

i'm kinda tired. my grandfather's second cousin who lives in germany has come to philly. i've never met her in my life, but she acts like we're the closest of relatives and like we've known each other forever. she fucking makes me clean the workspace around the computer. and you know i'm thinking "what did the five fingers say to the face? *slap*" that is why i'm irritated.

don't really have much else to say. college application sucks. but everyone knew that already. or will find out eventually. i mean it really blows. even if you're applying somewhere early, it's still a bitch to get everything together. anyway, i'll see you all later, as i have to do french homework.

bye, bye, beautiful.

hi

2004-09-11T00:58:18Z

hi everyone. this is my first livejournal post. i have a xanga that i update every once in a while. i also have nice discussions as to my ideological resemblance (or lack thereof) to hitler. www.xanga.com/gubernator13

i'm not feeling rebellious right now. in fact, i'm feeling like i really don't give a shit about anything. i think i'm apathetic, but i don't feel like finding out.

have a nice day. or don't. i won't care enough to ask if you've had one once you're done having it anyway.